Thank goodness it's weekend - well, almost!!

Oh my word!! As if I haven't got enough to do, everyone keeps interrupting my work to ask me stupid questions which I don't know the answer to. I mean, if I'm not involved in a specific situation, would I know the answer to a question relating to that situation? Do I look like I know what everyone's doing and thinking? I don't know EVERYTHING!!

I think these damn hormones are stuffing my brain up!! I've seriously got a chemical imbalance!! I feel so frustrated. Probably mostly because I'm so dissappointed. I just wish I could wipe the last three years out and do it again. I would absolutely do some things differently. And then I would enjoy and appreciate my pregnancy more. I never thought that I would not be able to have more kids. I never thought that I would have to bury a child. I never thought that I would walk around with such a pain in my chest and eyes burning from unshed tears. I did thought however that something so dramatic would make me let go and just break down. That hasn't happened yet. Guess I'm stronger than I thought though it doesn't feel like it from this side. I don't do things (even to get out of bed) because I want to, but because I have to. Because if I don't, there's no-one else to get up and do what I'm supposed to do. My motivation in life is my beautifull, 6 year old boy. And just the thought of losing him too brings tears to my eyes. I can't understand how so many people gets given the gift of life just to neglect and break them. A child is the most precious gift in life and if those fortunate people can just take a look around they'll see how many of us are longing to hold a tiny body in our arms. To feel those little feet kick in your belly. Maybe they can try and appreciate their children more. Just remember - a precious gift like this can be taken away just as easily as it was given.